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Editor's PicksEthiopiaSociety

As a Tigrayan, my bond with Ethiopia feels beyond repair

By Temesgen Kahsay
January 12, 2021
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In Aksum, Tigrayan region of Ethiopia. Credit: Rod Waddington.

We’re told the war is not with ordinary Tigrayans. Yet as thousands suffer and our compatriots remain silent, that’s how it feels.

In Aksum, Tigrayan region of Ethiopia. Credit: Rod Waddington.

In Aksum, Tigray region of Ethiopia. Credit: Rod Waddington.

As a child growing up in the then Ethiopian city of Asmara in the 1980s, my parents used to ask me what I wanted to be when I was older. My answer was always that I either wanted to be a fighter pilot or army general. The reason was simple. My father was a soldier in the Ethiopian army under the Derg regime and I too wanted to kill the nation’s “enemies”.

Growing up at that time of war, the sounds of rockets and bullets supplied the soundtrack of life and the state-controlled media provided the script for making sense of the world. I was taught to see the conflict in black and white, with good Ethiopian patriots on one side and the hateful rebels on the other. I memorised war songs and wrote poems to honour war heroes. In the last days of the brutal Derg regime in 1991, I vividly remember crying as I held aloft the green, yellow and red flag of Ethiopia.

What I didn’t know then is that the “enemies” my father had been fighting including his cousins and the children of our neighbours. The civil war cut deep into the social and cultural ties of Ethiopia’s many ethnic groups, often pitting members of the same families against each other. My father, from the Tigray region, had been battling members of his own ethnic group in the rebel Tigrayan People’s Liberation Front (TPLF) and Eritrean People’s Liberation Front (EPLF).

For my family, it was a precarious time to be Tigrayan and Ethiopian. Among supporters of the Derg regime, we were mistrusted because of our ethnicity and suspected of being agents of the TPLF. Among Tigrayans, we were seen as having betrayed our people by siding with the government. Like thousands of other families, we received abuse from different sides as we tried to juggle our ethnic and national identities.

In 1991, the repressive Derg regime was defeated. The TPLF effectively became the leaders of Ethiopia and the EPLF took control in Eritrea, which became an independent country. My family left Asmara for Addis Ababa where we lived in a refugee camp for the next ten years. The new government was not in any hurry to help the families of soldiers that had fought against it.

Everything in Ethiopia had changed, but our questions of belonging remained as complex as ever. As refugees from Eritrea, we were regarded as outsiders. But as Tigrayans, we were seen as beneficiaries of the new Tigrayan-dominated government.

For the next 27 years, the TPLF-led ruling coalition governed the country. It pursued a form of ethnic federalism that has led to growing ethnic consciousness and a weakening of pan-Ethiopian identity. Over time, however, popular resistance to Tigrayan domination and its undemocratic rule led to its demise amid huge protests. In 2018, the ruling coalition selected a new leader. Abiy Ahmed, from the Oromia region, came to office promising hope, peace and unity. This did not last long. His relations broke down with the formerly powerful TPLF officials, who retreated to their home region. On 4 November 2020, Abiy declared war in Tigray.

The ongoing conflict has brought about another reckoning on what it means to Tigrayan in the larger body politic of Ethiopia. The war is happening in a context of resurging pan-Ethiopianism that has framed the TPLF as its archenemy. The government has portrayed its actions as a “law enforcement operation” against the TPLF and not a war against the people of Tigray, and yet this is how many people have experienced it.

Many Tigrayans support the TPLF, as seen in the result of the regional election in September 2020 which was seen as illegal by the federal government. Moreover, under the current “law enforcement operation” launched to capture the party’s top leaders, thousands of ordinary people have been killed or displaced. Meanwhile, many non-Tigrayans celebrated the capture of Tigray’s capital Mekelle and remained silent when the government obstructed aid reaching their compatriots. Ethnic profiling and harassment of Tigrayans is on the rise.

Some friends and family members whom I’ve known for a long time have come out supporting the war, despite the untold devastation and misery of countless families it has caused. My social ties have become thinner and thinner. In the face of emerging humanitarian crisis affecting ordinary Tigrayans, the deliberate attempt of the government to deny aid and the silence and the support of the majority of Ethiopians have eroded the sense of belonging to and identification I once had with Ethiopia.

One of the most painful aspects for me is that my father, who has always been a proud Ethiopian, has once again been condemned to suffering and isolation by the country for which he had sacrificed 28 years of his life. Personally, it feels impossible to be both Tigrayan and Ethiopian in the current situation. Because of the war and the responses of so many of my compatriots to the suffering of Tigrayans, the bond I had with Ethiopia feels broken beyond repair.


 

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Temesgen Kahsay

Temesgen Kahsay is an Assistant Professor at the Norwegian School of Leadership and Theology.

0 comments

  1. ASTER HAGOS 12 January, 2021 at 13:41

    Dear Temesgen,
    I understand your feelings, they are quite rational and justified. I am sure tomorrow will clear out the cloud of ongoing hate and bigotries. Do not judge the common people hard, it is because they know not what they do. Our people have been tested many times, they are resilient, they will come out even stronger than ever

  2. Hailu 12 January, 2021 at 16:15

    Abiy did not wage war on tigray but on tplf and it was after the later opened war on Ethiopian northern command.
    So pls speak to the fact

  3. Medyen Seid 12 January, 2021 at 20:36

    Truly, a moving article but you forgot one thing (perhaps on purpose) and that the atrocities the TPLF has committed against the people of Ethiopia. The TPLF does not represent the proud people of Tigray nor does it speak in their name. If the TPLF had the support of Tigrayans like you said this war would still be ongoing. Your attempt to make it seem like as if people who identify themselves as Tigrayan have become targeted and marginalized because of this conflict it is the farthest thing from the truth.

    The current administration after it assumed control of Mekelle, it had made it clear to the UN and whomever wanted to offer humanitarian aid that they would be allowed to do that with the precondition that they would respect the guidelines that was in place put by the national defense force. Yet certain convoys of the UN attempted to force their way through certain areas that were still considered active war zones.
    War is a terrible thing there’s no denying that fact. And where there is war there will be civilians and innocent people that will be caught in the middle of it and as a result they will suffer. And this is true of all wars. But no Ethiopian in his right mind has condoned nor kept silent on the displacement and the suffering of their fellow brothers and sisters in Tigray.

    There is a Latin proverb that says “Si vis pacem, para bellum” which means “If you want peace, prepare for war. Our esteemed prime minister Dr. Abiy Ahmed had pleaded time and time again with the TPLF not to escalate the situation but it was quite clear his pleas had fallen on deaf ears. Then on November 3, they crossed the red line and it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. So our leader had no choice but respond sternly and swiftly. The TPLF had made it clear that their aim was to dismantle and utterly destroy this country. And that war was on their agenda and not peace.

    As a last thing this article has unfortunately made you seem like a TPLF sympathizer but hey what do I know, I’m just a random guy in the comment section.

  4. Biniam 12 January, 2021 at 22:22

    IF you are a true Ethiopian lover then you should have not written this article, if you are a self lover then i understand your point. You should go to Ethiopia and discuss with your compatriots and listen to history, there is no trigrayan, or amhara or oromo or …., just Ethiopians speaking these languages, the melting pot has been already done, you should be ashamed to talk like that from the comfort of your European home. Devisness is a step to hatred and war and killings ,think very well before writing what you wrote, y

  5. Feleke 13 January, 2021 at 02:11

    What about the enormities TPLF has been and is committing against its ‘ enemies’.

  6. MELESE AYALEW 13 January, 2021 at 08:22

    All Ethiopians are greatly suffered as a result of the apartheid administration of TPLF over the past 27 years. yet, none of the Tigrayn condemned this ruthless administration that perceived the people who has different ideology than that of the Revolutionary democracy as its enemies and put into torture. Now, I heard that the Tigryan wanted condemnation of the war from the other ethnic groups. It is really reckless and seems ridiculous.

  7. Arma 13 January, 2021 at 08:39

    Dear Temsegen greetings
    For the last three decades millions of Ethiopians said and feels like you feel now. What a coincidence!!
    You know as a matter of fact politics is a dirty business which even “in politics the strong bonds will be broken”… I hope you now what millions feels for the last thirty years. You see ” you don’t feel the pain unless you have it”.
    Professor now you felt and recognize the pain!
    Hmm….where were you!?
    Now or never is always a breaking news in Ethiopia…
    But don’t forget no matter where you belong a such ethnic group at last and the most you are HUMAN! Isn’t it?
    You see unless we stop ” What’s mine is untouchable, but what’s yours is negotiable” our future would be back three steps but forward only one step.
    I share your feeling coz I know ” I was beyond repairing my nationality and belongingness”once like you desperately today.
    What’s next we don’t know but I pray for my people of Tigray region to be peaceful.

  8. Natnael Negussie 13 January, 2021 at 10:46

    Dear Temesgen,
    I don’t see neutrality in your views. You have one big misconception of being Ethiopian, you will not care about your family trees or tribes if you are Ethiopian.
    So, what do you say.

    Regards,
    Natnael N.

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