African Arguments

Top Menu

  • About Us
    • Our philosophy
  • Write for us
  • Contact us
  • Advertise
  • Newsletter
  • RSS feed
  • Donate
  • Fellowship

Main Menu

  • Home
  • Country
    • Central
      • Cameroon
      • Central African Republic
      • Chad
      • Congo-Brazzaville
      • Congo-Kinshasa
      • Equatorial Guinea
      • Gabon
    • East
      • Burundi
      • Comoros
      • Dijbouti
      • Eritrea
      • Ethiopia
      • Kenya
      • Rwanda
      • Seychelles
      • Somalia
      • Somaliland
      • South Sudan
      • Sudan
      • Tanzania
      • Uganda
      • Red Sea
    • North
      • Algeria
      • Egypt
      • Libya
      • Morocco
      • Tunisia
      • Western Sahara
    • Southern
      • Angola
      • Botswana
      • eSwatini
      • Lesotho
      • Madagascar
      • Malawi
      • Mauritius
      • Mozambique
      • Namibia
      • South Africa
      • Zambia
      • Zimbabwe
    • West
      • Benin
      • Burkina Faso
      • Cape Verde
      • Côte d’Ivoire
      • The Gambia
      • Ghana
      • Guinea
      • Guinea Bissau
      • Liberia
      • Mali
      • Mauritania
      • Niger
      • Nigeria
      • São Tomé and Príncipe
      • Senegal
      • Sierra Leone
      • Togo
  • Climate
  • Politics
    • Elections Map
  • Economy
  • Society
  • Culture
  • Specials
    • From the fellows
    • Radical Activism in Africa
    • On Food Security & COVID19
    • Think African [Podcast]
    • #EndSARS
    • Into Africa [Podcast]
    • Covid-19
    • Travelling While African
    • From the wit-hole countries…
    • Living in Translation
    • Africa Science Focus [Podcast]
    • Red Sea
    • Beautiful Game
  • Debating Ideas
  • About Us
    • Our philosophy
  • Write for us
  • Contact us
  • Advertise
  • Newsletter
  • RSS feed
  • Donate
  • Fellowship

logo

African Arguments

  • Home
  • Country
    • Central
      • Cameroon
      • Central African Republic
      • Chad
      • Congo-Brazzaville
      • Congo-Kinshasa
      • Equatorial Guinea
      • Gabon
    • East
      • Burundi
      • Comoros
      • Dijbouti
      • Eritrea
      • Ethiopia
      • Kenya
      • Rwanda
      • Seychelles
      • Somalia
      • Somaliland
      • South Sudan
      • Sudan
      • Tanzania
      • Uganda
      • Red Sea
    • North
      • Algeria
      • Egypt
      • Libya
      • Morocco
      • Tunisia
      • Western Sahara
    • Southern
      • Angola
      • Botswana
      • eSwatini
      • Lesotho
      • Madagascar
      • Malawi
      • Mauritius
      • Mozambique
      • Namibia
      • South Africa
      • Zambia
      • Zimbabwe
    • West
      • Benin
      • Burkina Faso
      • Cape Verde
      • Côte d’Ivoire
      • The Gambia
      • Ghana
      • Guinea
      • Guinea Bissau
      • Liberia
      • Mali
      • Mauritania
      • Niger
      • Nigeria
      • São Tomé and Príncipe
      • Senegal
      • Sierra Leone
      • Togo
  • Climate
  • Politics
    • Elections Map
  • Economy
  • Society
  • Culture
  • Specials
    • From the fellows
    • Radical Activism in Africa
    • On Food Security & COVID19
    • Think African [Podcast]
    • #EndSARS
    • Into Africa [Podcast]
    • Covid-19
    • Travelling While African
    • From the wit-hole countries…
    • Living in Translation
    • Africa Science Focus [Podcast]
    • Red Sea
    • Beautiful Game
  • Debating Ideas
From the wit-hole countries...
Home›African Arguments›Special series›From the wit-hole countries...›Who is guilty of rape? The Council of Common Sense has a verdict! 

Who is guilty of rape? The Council of Common Sense has a verdict! 

By Ayodeji Rotinwa
July 17, 2020
1517
0

From the Wit-hole countries is African Arguments’ satirical section. It’s the news, but absurd. It’s sometimes better than the real thing, sometimes not quite real, and sometimes much more real.

[opening broadcast music]

Good day and welcome to the news bulletin hour. 

I come to you live from the steps of the court where inside, the Council of Common Sense is reaching a verdict on who is guilty for rape. This case is famous for being prosecuted by the entire male population across the continent (a large number of them Nigerians and South Africans). Earlier today, the suspects’ lawyers summed up their defences in this centuries long court hearing and we’re expecting a decision imminently. 

To recap, these are the three defendants we’ve come to know so well and how their questioning went:

Suspect Number 1: Late Nights 

The Council of Common Sense heatedly debated this suspect. Scientists, shamans and creatures of the night like bats were all called in to give evidence proving whether this natural occurrence of time was responsible for cases of rape. Was it perhaps some mysterious rays the sun gave away as it set? Did the moon inspire feelings of violence specifically directed towards women, similar to werewolves? 

Suspect Number 2: Short Skirts 

This suspect’s trial took ages. Hundreds of expert witnesses were called to the stand: textile makers, designers, tailors, illustrators, capitalism. The Council wanted to know what mysterious, malignant threads they used that could be inspiring targeted violence. The suspect in question gave a spirited defence of itself, proclaiming it is not new to such accusations which have apparently hurt its reputation. 

Suspect Number 3: Location 

This suspect was particularly hard to pin down. Because the prosecution could not decide what portion of this large, expansive suspect is particularly suspicious. Who, or rather where, is guilty? Is it hotels, churches, Islamic schools, private homes, university lecturer offices? Or is it the homes of celebrities, schools, airports, restaurants, public bathrooms? Where exactly is guilty of rape? 


While we await the Council of Common Sense’s verdict, I’ve been also been speaking to some men who have been offering advice on how ordinary men can help stop sexual violence regardless of the guilty suspect.

One expert man said: “To stop gender based violence, we must furiously type ‘We need to put an end to gender-based violence’ on social media.” He emphasised the importance of not being distracted in this essential action by other activities such as holding the men around us accountable, contributing materially to the cause, or believing and supporting women.

Another men’s rights advocate suggested that ordinary men can help by chanting #NotAllMen at every opportunity in order to spread awareness that a few men aren’t trash and guilty of apologising for or enabling sexual assault.

Finally, one particularly experienced campaigner explained that “hyperbole like #MenAreScum is a danger to the world’s most important resource: men’s egos. Yes, some men behave badly, but it is only a few bad apples. And yes, a few bad apples spoil the bunch, but men are not fruit,” he said.


Breaking news! The Council has come back with a verdict. Let me listen in.

Well, in a startling turn around, the Council of Common Sense has acquitted all three suspects! Instead, it has found another party guilty on all counts. The judges said it would take too long to name those guilty, but simply invited the all-male audience to look in the mirror…


…and just to reiterate again, this is satire. Read more of From The Wit-Hole Countries here.


 

Previous Article

African Voices, African Arguments Podcast: Episode Two; ...

Next Article

“We’re all at sea”: Meet the 2020 ...

mm

Ayodeji Rotinwa

Ayodeji Rotinwa is the Deputy Editor of African Arguments.

Leave a reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  • Politics

    Pres. Mbeki’s Speech on Handing Over the AU Panel Report

  • Politics

    Africa’s fuel subsidies: Grasping the nettle – By Adam Robert Green

  • Cyclone Freddy hit Blantyre, Malawi, hard earlier in March, with townships such as Chilobwe and Manja experienced the worst damage with severe mudslides. Credit: UNICEF Malawi/2023/Corporate Media
    ClimateMalawiTop story

    Cyclone Freddy dumped six months’ rain in six days in Malawi

Subscribe to our newsletter

Click here to subscribe to our free weekly newsletter and never miss a thing!

  • 81.7K+
    Followers

Find us on Facebook

Interactive Elections Map

Keep up to date with all the African elections.

Recent Posts

  • The two defining challenges facing South Africa
  • ‘Don’t Agonize, Organize!’ Remembering Tajudeen Abdul-Raheem’s Advocacy on Sudan
  • Four actions vulnerable countries need from COP28
  • Afrobeats: The birth of Afro-Adura
  • Sudan: How the generals disappeared the people on the way to the economy

Editor’s Picks

Editor's PicksKenyaSociety

Why is Africa always portrayed as a passive woman?

Africa is often talked about as an object to be consumed. Even those who resist this discourse sometimes employ it. At the start of this month, leaders of forty African ...
  • Esraa, a customer of the bike lessons service Dosy, on the bike of a motorbike in Cairo, Egypt. Credit: Dosy.

    Egypt’s patriarchy says women don’t ride bikes. These women disagree.

    By Lara Reffat
    February 16, 2022
  • Sudan constitution. Friday service at the Hamed al-Nil tomb in Omdurman, Sudan. Credit: Carsten ten Brink.

    Sudan’s misguided fixation with finding a transformative constitution

    By Aida Abbashar
    October 5, 2022
  • Mauritians protesting on the streets in August 2020. Credit: Matt Savi.

    Mauritius: A picture perfect democracy’s fall from grace

    By Roukaya Kasenally
    May 12, 2021
  • If you believe you are a citizen of the world…

    By James Wan
    November 6, 2019

Brought to you by


Creative Commons

Creative Commons Licence
Articles on African Arguments are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
  • Cookies
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms & Conditions
© Copyright African Arguments 2020
By continuing to browse this site, you agree to our use of cookies.